We’ve all heard people say that happiness comes from within. But what does that mean? Is there some sort of zen arena you reach at a certain age? Does fulfillment come from happiness or is it vice versa? A few weeks ago, a friend and I were strolling around downtown, checking out Nordstrom, Holt Renfrew and taking […]
via The Happiness Factor — HR. Coms. TV. Movies. Pop Culture.
We’ve all heard people say that happiness comes from within. But what does that mean? Is there some sort of zen arena you reach at a certain age? Does fulfillment come from happiness or is it vice versa? A few weeks ago, a friend and I were strolling around downtown, checking out Nordstrom, Holt Renfrew and taking in the eye candy. We started talking about the concept of happiness and when she asked “what would make you happy?” I jokingly replied “that Tory Burch purse!” (although truth be told, it would make me extremely happy as it was a beautiful purse). Of course this naturally led to a dialogue in happiness as materiality. You’ve probably read many articles where they say not to wait for happiness – that happiness does not come once you are married, or have children, or find the perfect job, or become a millionaire. You can do all these things and still be unhappy. Really? Can I try please? I would like to make an informed opinion. Many celebrities have said that money didn’t buy them happiness, but it did make life easier – and if life is easier, there are less problems and less stress – which leads to happiness right? Wrong. I’ve been in situations where I am stress free – but still unhappy. And I’ve been in situations where I am falling ill from the stress – but I am quite happy. I guess it depends on the specifics. I remember asking my cousin a few years ago “Are you happy?” to which he immediate replied “No. I can’t remember the last time I was happy.” A couple of other friends – both males – were asking each other – “Are you happily married or just married?” to which the other replied “Just married.” (of course, their drunken state may have played a part in their Q&A session). So what is happiness, how can we find it, and more importantly, how do we hold on to it? I’d be curious to hear your thoughts as I continue my own search. Happy Happiness Hunting!
As many of you know, looking for work is not an easy task. It takes perseverance, a thick skin and the ability to “Keep Calm and Carry On.” I learned this first hand when I started my search back in March, 2014. I was laid off from a position I had been in for nine years and was immediately thrown into an abyss of job search websites, cover letters templates and endless advice columns.
The first step was to navigate through the chaos and noise to settle on what worked best for me. I chose my favourite ‘go to’ websites – the ones I trusted and whose words resonated with me (The Muse being one of the best). Then it was trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Did I want to stay in HR – a career I had been focused on for the last 18 years? Or did I want to try something different? I had completed my undergraduate degree in Communications (back in the day), hoping to first get into the broadcast industry and/or write articles for a magazine or newspaper. It was by fluke that I landed in HR, but found that I loved it. I was lucky enough in my last job, to be able to combine my two passions. Was it time to go back to and focus solely on Comms? I conducted informational interviews with several people to determine the best course of action.
What I found was that if I wanted to change careers, I would have to start over – or at least accept a more junior position in any organization. At this stage in my professional life, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to do that. However, I kept my options open – applying for both Communications and HR Manager roles as I researched them. Then came the rejection letters! Coping with these was the hardest part of my job search process. Every time I received one, it would throw me into a funk. People say you get used to them – but you don’t. Each one was a dagger through my heart (okay that might be a bit over-dramatic) and a blow to my ego, which had me thinking every single time: “Don’t these people know how fabulous I am!?”
Sometimes the funk would last a few hours; other times, a few days – especially if it was a position I really wanted. It took a lot of energy to get out of bed. It was a vicious circle: the depression would kick in, I would take my happy pills, receive a pep talk from a friend, parent or relative, get back up to try again and the cycle would continue.
On days like mentioned above, it is important to ensure that you have a good support system in place when you need a boost of motivation, or a swift kick in the pants! Whether you surround yourself with friends, family, mentors, coaches, network acquaintances, or a combination, having people to rely on is key in a job search process.
And when you’re feeling like you need a little extra push…
What grounds you? Is it nature? Then go for a walk or a hike. Is it faith? Then ensure you visit your place of worship. Yoga? Get your downward dog on! Sports? Get sweaty. Whatever you need to do to focus and center you, do it. And do it often.
We all need replenishment!
Whereas zen focuses you, filling the well rejuvenates you. A combination of the two is therapy and guidance all rolled into one! Whether it’s going to a concert, listening to a motivational speaker, attending a conference, watching Ted Talks or searching You Tube for cat videos, make sure to fill your soul and do what’s needed to make you, you.
It’s okay to be sad…
It’s ok to have those ‘down days’. Embrace them. Relish in them. Then, dust yourself off, and get back up. As a famous actress once said: “put on some lipstick, put on your big girl panties and get it done.” Or something to that effect…
I remember receiving a text from a friend of mine on one of those days:
Friend: “Whatchudoin?”
Me: “Having a pity party.”
Me: “Wanna come?”
Friend: “Will there be food :)”
The most important thing is to make sure you include some fun in your week. For me, that meant going to the mall or watching a movie – but only on Tuesdays since it was half-price and I didn’t feel as guilty for spending the money! I also enjoy eating out, so would try to budget at least one night out a month with a girlfriend or a group of friends.
I can’t tell you how many resumes I sent out. Literally. Because I lost track. In the beginning, I was diligent, writing everything down in my journal. Then I transferred that to an online system, so that it was easier to track. I did go to a lot of interviews. A LOT OF INTERVIEWS. And not just one or two. There was one sequence where I had five interviews and still didn’t get the job! How’s that for rejection? There came to a time when I stopped modifying my resume to each position and just started sending out bulk e-mails. No cover letters. Just the generic resume. Yah. That didn’t work either. After a few months of that, it was back to the grind.
Hindsight is 20/20; everything happens for a reason; you’re where you’re meant to be, blah, blah, blah, blah….oh wait. It’s true! We all have a life plan. Some of us want to get married by the age of 30, have kids by the age of 35, be the CEO of a Fortune 500 by the time we hit 40…and the list goes on. The funny thing is, life doesn’t work that way. Unfortunately, the universe has its own plan, which she won’t share with us. So what’s the learning? Why did it take me almost two years to find a full-time job when it took a friend of mine two weeks? It could be the different job types we were applying for; it could be the industry or the sector; it could be a lot of things. But what were the lessons I needed to learn? To be patient, to be grateful for what I had; to learn how to budget; and to spend time with those who are most important to me. Simple, basic things that I probably knew all along, but needed a refresher in. Apparently, a two-year refresher!
As with most Bond fans, I was looking forward to the release of the new 007 flick Spectre, which hit theatres last Friday. I was disappointed with the results. The movie did not live up to expectations and was, in fact, a poor follow up to Skyfall – probably one of the best Bond movies in recent history. The plot was tired, the actors looked like they didn’t want to be there and the villain was hardly scary enough to take on the ghosts of the past. Sam Mendes, who directed the past few Bond films with Daniel Craig, is usually up to the challenge. But this time round, it felt like he too, was running out of steam. The last straw was the unimpressive portrayal of ‘M’ by Ralph Fiennes – whom I have loved since his Schindler’s List days. But there was no quick wit; no sarcasm to match Bond’s; it was a flat performance and one I hope will be rectified with the next instalment. It is unsure yet, as to whether Craig will return in his 5th turn as the super secret service agent, but if he does, let’s hope he can bring back the lustre in the lacklustre performances this time round.
As with anything, a job search has its peaks and valleys. Sometimes things will be so hectic that you will have 3 interviews in one week. Other times, it will get so slow, you wonder why they posted the job in the first place if there’s no urgency to fill it! The valleys, or the crevices, are the hardest – you have to sit idly by while someone else decides your future – to shortlist or not to shortlist; to interview or not to interview. This is what is called Paranoid Panic Mode or PPM for short (it’s not really a thing, I just made it up.) This is when you send out resumes and a few weeks go by without you hearing a thing. Not just the usual radio silence, but the kind of silence that makes you think your e-mail is not working properly, or your computer is broken; when you check your phone to make sure you are still able to receive calls; or double-check your voicemail to ensure it’s not the problem. I find this the most difficult aspect of the job hunt process because nothing is in your hands. You’ve reached out to your contacts to put in a good word for you for that perfect job; you’ve done your research, you’ve sent out your cover letter and resume as per the instructions on the posting; you’ve reached out to the recruiter on LinkedIn and now you wait. You wait while your insides slowly melt away from the fake ulcer this whole process has created and take another Tums while trying to come up with a new strategy. You wait while you figure out what you can do to fill the empty hours of your day besides watching TV, reading, writing, cooking (or attempting to!), cleaning, going to the mall, watching movies, etc. These are all valid parts of life; a reality of sorts, but somehow, it doesn’t fulfill you. Not to your very core. it’s not what you were made for. It’s not your purpose in life. So you wait. And pray that the storm will pass.
In paying homage to the movie, It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad World, I thought I would share my thoughts and frustrations on my recent and not so recent job search attempts. After nine years at an organization, I was laid off and found myself feeling oddly liberated. The position was extremely stressful, and although I enjoyed working with the people there and believed in what the organization stood for, I was completely burnt out. I took the next few months to contemplate my life – where did I want to go? Who did I want to be? What did I want to accomplish? Before I knew it, life took over – we had a death in the family, we moved, there were doctors appointments, family gatherings, dinners, celebrations, etc. I wondered how people managed to have a life when they worked? It was sad to think I had missed out on so much living!
Then the interviews started. And every time I came back from one, I would say to myself “This is it!” But it never was. I was either over-qualified or under-qualified; I didn’t have {insert sector here} experience – oil and gas, retail, manufacturing, etc. Um. Really? Aren’t HR issues the same across all sectors and industries? People are people no matter what they do – whether it’s counting widgets or making them. I applied to all the recruiters from Executive Search Firms to Temporary Placement Agencies. One recruiter told me to ‘stick with the non-profits of the world.’ Gee, thanks Guy.
For whatever reason, I wasn’t getting The Offer. With one organization, I had a phone screen with the recruiter, a second phone screen, a face to face with the HR person, a 20 question assessment to complete, a second face to face interview with a five-person panel – and I still didn’t get the job! Really? If you haven’t made a decision on me by the second interview, you’re really not doing your job well and should get out of HR!
Another position had me do a PowerPoint summary of a report, two telephone interviews, one Skype interview and then ultimately the job was cancelled.
My ultimate pet peeve though – never hearing back when you’ve interviewed – more than once, for a position. There was one role where I had a telephone interview, a face to face interview, followed up with them via e-mail and voicemail and never heard back. Ultimately, I saw on LinkedIn that the organization had hired another candidate! Not kewl, Recruiter, not kewl. I won’t be using your services when I am CEO of a Fortune 500. So there.
So here I am…19 months later, still waiting for my dream job. I’ve had some amazing opportunities though – contract work, volunteer work, spending quality time with family and friends, enjoying Vancouver summers, learning how to shop at extra 50% off sale and appreciating what I have in life. Just living.
The saga continues…
With limited time and many tasks looming, do recruiters read cover letters that are submitted by candidates? As a job seeker, I’ve often wondered whether writing, re-writing and editing a cover letter is time worth spent. All Career Practitioners or Counsellors say yes – the cover letter is your ad to get your foot in the door. But as a recruiter – I have to admit – I rarely read them. I would go straight to the resume – specifically the education and work experience sections – to determine whether the candidate was a good fit. When you are applying for a dozen or so jobs a week – it is difficult to find the time to sit down and relate each cover letter (and resume) to the specific job for which you are applying.
Isn’t it more important to concentrate on the skills section in your CV – to ensure it matches what the organization is looking for?
What are your thoughts?
HR. Coms. TV. Movies. Pop Culture. 